Beer Parlour 1: Understanding How The Nigerian Govt Works

Ask The Minister!




The Beer Parlour has it's first customer!



One of the aims of Beer Parlour Activism is to fight ignorance and misinformation among Nigerians. A BPA should normally have more knowledge to share than the average man on the street.



Personally I have often wondered how govt in Nigeria works. Yes we know in 'theory' how it's supposed to work but how does it actually work? How do decisions get made? How can one get ideas passed across to the highest levels of the Nigerian govt to the point where we as BPAs can influence change?



These questions are perhaps best answered by someone who has [or still is] been a part of the Nigerian govt at the highest level.



Our first customer is such a person.




Know Your Customer [KYC]



The person was one of Nigeria's most high profile ministers during President Obasanjo's second term. Very widely educated with qualifications in Law and Accounting.



Our customer held two different ministerial portfolios during President Obasanjo's second term and is today widely respected both in Nigeria and in the western world.



So as to not prejudice the questions, I will not reveal the customer's name until after all questions have been submitted. Hopefully this will help keep things objective.


The Questions



The Customer has offered to answer questions from Beer Parlour Activists on the workings of the Nigerian govt based on the person's experience in govt as a minister.



We are looking for questions from BPAs based around the following





What can a Nigerian minster do and not do?

How do contracts get approved? What is the process like?

How do budgets get allocated and what's the budget setting process like?

What's a typical FEC meeting like?

The above is by no means an exhaustive list [I have clearly run out of ideas] so please feel free to widen the terms of reference.


The whole purpose of this Beer Parlour session is to better understand the workings of the Nigerian govt and why it never seems to meet the aspirations of Nigerians.



Where possible, The Customer will try to use personal examples to answer the questions.



Please keep the questions as objective as possible. No long greetings and/or prayers necessary. Let your question go straight to the point.



Please include your name and country you currently reside in. If you are sending the questions from America, please include the state as well.




The last day for submission of questions is Friday 5th March 2010. 9pm UK Time. The Customer's name will be revealed immediately after the deadline has passed.



The best questions will be picked and submitted to The Customer to be answered. The answers will then be published on Facebook in a note form.


Please send your questions to naijabeerparlour@gmail.com  before the deadline above, A team of 3 Barmen [editors] will choose the best questions to be forwarded to The Customer. Please do not be offended if your question does not make the final list...if we get a lot of questions we will be forced to cut out a few of them.



You are however allowed to send in more than one question.


Please not that this is not a PR exercise for the Nigerian government. The whole point is to gain an insight into how our government works because we are all shareholders in Nigeria Plc.



The honest truth is that a lot of us probably dont really understand how our government works and how decisions are made.



Please use your imagination and objectivity when sending your questions. Remember that as a BPA you are speaking on behalf of millions of Nigerians who cannot read, write, have no telephones, have no education and have no access to the internet or any means by which to speak to their representatives in government.

Hopefully some knowledge and insight will be gained from this process.



God bless the Federal Republic of Nigeria.



FF



Barman.

Contraband Presidency - Security Alert!!!!

The attention of Association of Nigerian Online Militants has been drawn to the smuggling of a contraband item into the country from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. The package was flown into the country on a white unregistered aircraft. It arrived at presidential wing of the Nnamdi Azikwe International Airport on early hours of Wednesday morning, at about 1.30am.


According to sources, the unregistered aircraft carrier landed at the Abuja airport in the company of the presidential jet. It is unknown at this stage if there were other passengers on board both aircrafts.

It is believed that the contraband package was smuggled into the country with the aid of “unknown” soldiers. From our preliminary investigations, these unknown soldiers are alleged to have been deployed from the Nigerian Army 22nd Battalion Brigade. The soldiers took charge of the airport, while the staff were given marching orders.

As we know, President Umaru Yar’Adua is currently comatose; it is therefore unclear on whose orders the soldiers were acting. The Acting President has also denied any knowledge of any troops deployment.

The contraband package was alleged to have been transferred from the White unregistered aircraft to a White Ford E-250 bullion van. The last sighting of this bullion van was around the Presidential Villa at Aso Rock.

It is clear from all indication that, this is a well orchestrated crime. The perpetrators of this heinous crime are likely to be highly placed influential Nigerians. The audacity with which the smuggling was carried out is unprecedented in the history of our country.

Up until now, the location and content the contraband package remains unknown. The Nigerian online militants considers smuggling as a threat to the national security. In view of this, all security agencies across the nation have been notified. The nation’s borders have also been put on high alert.

The Nigerian Online Militants are particularly interested in the location of the White bullion van and its content. If anyone has any information on its whereabouts please contact your nearest internet militant via Facebook or Twitter.

We urge members of the public to remain calm. In your own interest, please do not approach the driver of this vehicle as he may be carrying dangerous weapon.

Signed

Association of Nigerian Online Militants (ANOM)

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