Sunday, July 19, 2009

Jobs! Jobs!! Jobs!!!

Jobs! Jobs!! Jobs!!!

Salary – N65, 000 ($500) per month

SELECTION CRITERIA

Essential

All applicants
· must be a registered member of Movement for Emancipation of Niger Delta (MEND) or Niger Delta Volunteer Force (NDVF)
· must have lived in the Niger Delta region of Nigeria, within the last 10 years
· must have previously engaged in militancy or guerilla warfare
· must have proven track record of human kidnapping, especially expatriates.
· must have proven track record in destruction of oil pipelines and other major oil installations
· must have proven track record in the use of AK-47 and “rocket propelled grenades”
· must have track record of driving speedboats, dingy, and canoes.

Desirable
· must understand the operation of onshore and offshore oil exploration facilities
· must understand oil bunkering techniques
· must be willing to engage in election rigging.
· must be willing to be a member of the Peoples’ Democratic Party (PDP)

All applications must be submitted in person to

Mallam Umar Yar’Adua
The Presidency,
Aso Villa
Abuja
Nigeria
Tel: +234 9 6500000 E-mail mallam.yaradua@presidency.gov.ng

Please note that only the first 10,000 applications will be accepted. Submission of multiple applications will result in automatic disqualification.

Closing date – 60 days from the date of this advertisement

Notes for all applicants
· The government reserves the right to extend the deadline for submission of applications.
· The government reserves the right to refuse application from specified persons.
· There is no right of appeal for applications that are refused.

signed

Head of Human Resouces
Ministry of Niger Delta
Abuja
Nigeria

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

are you serious? this is why our country is messed up and people like me don't want to go back to MY country, because nonsense like this is taking place. You should be ashamed of yourself, i am so disappointed, you're just pulling our country down, i hope you are all shot. What nonsense. If this is a false job, then haha, not funny, if it isn't i hope you all get killed on your missions. Make Nigeria safe and not a disgrace!

kola said...

Idiot...go fuck the devil!!! The blog is to expose Nigerian and her governance doing stuffs that deprives Nigeria of her glory.
Why not stay put where ever you are and never come home?
How do you solve a problem is they're not analysed?
What have you done or contributed to the growth of Nigeria? If you can't be for it, go fuck yourself!
Join the movement to light up Nigeria. Major companies are moving to Ghana. A dollar is almost, if not the same rate as the Ghanian currency.
People are killing and kidnapping innocent citizens and foreigners yet the president is offering them money for doing that? C'mon dude, get real!!!
If you ain't got nothing positive to say, shut the fuck up!

Anonymous said...

I can't find any sense in this message or advert as it is called. why should something like this be posted here. this is not a good criteria for sustaining good jobs in Nigeria. If this is the only requirement to get a job in this country that means we all need to go in the way of gun. what is Mr President turning the country into. this kind of advert should have been channelled to the people in question.

Heal said...

@Anonymous
The post is exposed the ineptitude of Nigerian leaders in dealing with the Niger Delta crisis.

Since the Govt has decided to offer N65,000 monthly to the Niger Delta miltants as part of the amnesty package, then it is only right we make it public.

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